If you are new here I can only say "Where have you been?" You have nearly missed all of the fun. Catch up using the links to previous posts on the right hand side of the page.
That's this side
Not this side.
As you can imagine here at DD we receive sackloads of mail every week. Most of it is the usual stuff - adoring fan missives, unsolicited gifts, begging letters and the like. However we do also receive more serious communications, many from people who need our help. This is a selection from the last few days with quite an international flavour.
Dear Mr Disorientated,
My husband thinks that I am going to give him time off to go away on a lunatic rail trip around Europe with some absolutely ghastly sounding people. Please help me persuade him that this is not a good idea.
Yours fragrantly,
Lady Glenmutchkin.
DD - Lady G. Think about. He will be away having his mid-life crisis with a bunch of weirdos and you will be free to have all the fun and fragrance you want for a couple of weeks. Sounds like a result.
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ML from Berks sent us a msgdd - i am suffering recurring nightmares about waking up in the middle of the night stark naked and ticketless on a balkan railway platform as the train lights recede into the distance can you help me
ml
DD - I'm not going to tell them and if you are lucky they won't think of it for themselves.
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Mrs F King-Doyle from County Cork left a message on our voice mailHi DD, Is it possible for a girl to be a railfan? Thanks, Fi
Of course it is dear. Just go easy on the deodorant, buy yourself an anorak and never, ever call a Narrow Gauge Railway a T*y Train.
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Rupert of Hentzau wrote to us on exquisite goatskin parchment.
Our forgotten country in a far flung corner of Europe is about to be visited by something called GCERC. I am told that sometimes these people are found comatose, naked and ticketless on railway stations. What precautions should we take?
pp HRH Rupert
DD - Rupert mate, good to hear from you. Loved your movies. These are very important people coming to visit you. One adverse blog post by any of them and your country will be ruined. They need to be entertained regally - their leader is known to be particularly keen on his food. A couple of low-fat options might be appreciated by some of their senior citizens.
With regard to precautions I think that the usual ones will suffice. Lock up your daughters and mobilise the army.
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So Dave what are your three tracks?
Tower of Song - Leonard Cohen. Mrs DD and I saw him live at Edinburgh Castle a few years back and it was a stunning performance. You would never have guessed that he was 137.
Green, Green Grass of Home - John Otway. Even longer ago we saw him in a Church Hall during the festival. We sat next to Attila the Stockbroker in an audience of about ten people.
New Spanish Two Step - Bob Wills and His Texas Playboys. I wish I had seen this guy perform live. Read this book one day for a good laugh and to find out more. Lone Star Swing
And your luxury item?
A doorbell that plays 'Love hit Me' by J Vincent Edwards or maybe Barry Ryan's 'Eloise'.
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Ms. Didi of West Bengal has this problem.
When I was in Delhi I had a train set of my own. Since I moved back to Kolkata the boys won't let me play any more. What do you advise?
Try a new angle. Do you have room for a tramway layout at your new place? Or maybe you should think about getting a boyfriend. I bet we could find you a train geek in Kolkata
Eat your heart out Miss Lonely Heart!
ReplyDeleteHarrumph.
ReplyDeleteSo am I allowed to call those teenyweeny trains in weird geeky guys' gardens T*y Trains?
(running for cover)
I think that you must be referring to 'Model Railways'.
ReplyDelete