The Camera Never Lies

You can tell what sort of bloke Paul C is merely by his choice of venue for our meeting. Not satisfied with a crash trip around a couple of dozen countries in a few days' time he announced that he wanted to be interviewed in an Uzbek shepherd's shack. A 17 day, 18,000 km train trip will be a breeze compared with the return flights from Scotland  to Tashkent via Amsterdam and Moscow!

 
It is no secret that Paul knows how to take photos that don't have his thumb in them but perhaps you didn't know that he recently stood down from the office of Chief Executive of the Duchy of Lancaster or that for 12 years he played for Kilmarnock FC. His horns must have been particularly useful in that role.

 

What is the best railway related photo that you have ever taken? Can we see it? 

                                                                       

Please.

 

 

 I think two trains caught having a massive snog at East Croydon might have to do. Or, less mundanely, the Princess Elizabeth over the river taken from inside one of the Diamond Jubilee river pageant boats.  

 

How did you get yourself into this GCERC mess?

Didn't run fast enough when Lloyd suggested it might be a giggle. I tend to say yes and think afterwards. I am now in a state of turmoil and terror, given that it looks like it's actually going to happen. 

What cameras will you be taking?

Big fat, full-frame Canons with all the trimmings. And a tiny G15 to save on wrist trauma. Will end up getting anything memorable by using my phone, as ever.
  
That business where you shave just  by rubbing your hand over your face.  Can you teach me how to do that?

I try not to talk too much about my superpowers. I also have the ability to void myself in the downstairs department merely by glancing at the door of the nearest loo and transferring what has to be transferred inside purely by the power of thought. I expect this to come in handy on our trip. I shouldn't have talked about that, should I?

 

 GCERC is a big step up from taking wedding photos in Margate. Will you be able to cope with the pressure?

 We don't mention Margate. It is a cheerless place.

 

How did you manage to get Exclusive Copyright to every Uzbek Shepherd's Shack photo on the internet?

Good sanitation is hard to come by in the 'stans. I have the ability to transfer my superpowers simply by touching them on the crook. Make sense now?

Who's the most famous/interesting person that you have given photography tuition to?

Former Pope Benedict. After his retirement he's been looking for new challenges and hobbies. He's been doing bodybuilding with Jodie Marsh, and after that he comes over to mine for a few pointers. He's got a very poor feel for white balance, for obvious reasons.

Is there a particular GCERC highlight that you are looking forward to?

Finding the prospect of midnight sun particularly exciting. I've been getting into training by going out of the house during the day sometimes. 

San Pellegrino or Badoit?

San P all the way. Nobody needs the taste of volcanoes in their mouth.
 

Tell us about the humiliating initiation rituals that your office interns have to undergo. 

 

Ah yes. The "happy tomato". I'm glad you mentioned that. Has to be worn for 24 hours continuously for anyone breaking my Rules. These include: using the auto setting on any camera that can't also make phone calls, shooting a group of people at less than f/5, and calling photos "snaps".

 

The city stop plans for GCERC seem to be crystallizing as 'Send Paul to get a landmark photo while we sit in the bar'. How do you plan to extract your revenge?

While you're all asleep, my camera isn't. 

If you could bring a guest along from any point in history who would it be?

Thomas Tallis. Anyone that can bring that sort of harmony to a group of discordant voices will come in bloody handy on the difficult Balkan stretches.

Three tracks for the album please.

It was a very good year by Frank Sinatra
Puffing Billy (of course) by the Melodi Light Orchestra
Did You Give the World Some Love Today Baby, by Doris.

 

Paul is clearly a man that we need to keep in with else we run the risk of being syndicated world-wide drooling on our GCERC t-shirts. One suggestion is that we each take days in turn as personal  valet to Mr C, ensuring that his every whim is attended to and watching out for warning signs that he may be unhappy. Apparently these are not difficult to spot. 

http://paulclarke.com/photography/